When something is really good but really bad at the same time.

Only had one lecture today from 9 to 10.30am so I popped back down to teejay for lunch and to spend time. It was really nice being back again, to see everywhere and to walk around the school, to hang around in the classroom and to attend chemistry tutorial again. I actually remembered what was being taught! If anything is directly joined next to the benzene ring, then they are in the same plane. BUT BUT! If 2 benzene rings are joined together, all the carbons are not in the same plane because of steric hinderance, so they will be perpendicular instead! But when everyone started going home till we finally left, i was left with a real empty feeling. So going back was nice, but it might be a bad idea after all. Oh well, I still had fun!

Tomorrow I only have one lecture from 4-5.30pm. Gah! What an annoying time. You see, if that one lecture is in the morning like today, I can go out in the afternoon. But now, if I go out in the morning, I won't have much time and would have to worry about getting to school in time. Got placed into Group E for Econs. Finally one group that I had hoped that I would be placed in! But timetable is really weird. I have 5.5hour break on mondays, 5 hour break on fridays and 5 hour breaks on thursdays. And still only 1 lecture on wednesdays. Thursday is the busiest day of my week with 3 classes.

I realised that lately it has been maths maths and more maths, with a bit of music here and there. I'm burying myself in work and I know where it's all going to lead to if I carry on. So I declare tonight rest night! No work! Let's see if I can keep it that way. Most of my rest days haven't really been rest days. Trying hard not to open the textbooks but I won't because I really need to stay away from them.

Recently I have been asking a couple of people the same question. Why fast? And I actually do know why, but there's just this nagging feeling that there's more I want to know. I don't fully comprehend, and I still want to ask. But I don't know how to put it across. Actually, I don't really know what I want to ask, I just have this vague idea and nagging feeling in me. Hmm.. maybe it will strike me one day what it is exactly that I want to ask.

I feel messed up and unsettled tonight. Tried working on the current jigsaw puzzle that I'm doing but it's not doing anything to make me feel better. Rather it made me feel worse because I can't find the pieces I want and just now I kept trying to fit this particular piece in and after a long time I realised why it wasn't going in. I was trying to fit it into the wrong place. Stupid me. So, instead I'm going to read. Reading is good. I love reading.

Like always, someone saw right through me and hit the nail on the head. Am I that easy to read? Makes me think...