My source of strength! (:

Dance today was not so good and I felt really really nervous and scared. It was better when the second time was better. Blocking took 40 minutes when it should be done in maximum 15 minutes. I hope everything goes well tomorrow.

Sleep and rest are what I really need now. My brain is not functioning anymore, causing me to do so many silly things throughout the week! You know you're real tired and in need of some serious rest when:
1) You look at a sign with the word serious and your mind tells you it's a foreign word, while you attempt to pronounce it as sir-ree-years, until it finally hits you that s-e-r-i-o-u-s spells serious.
2) You tell your sister that people are going out into the sea to watch goldfishes.
3) When nothing anyone around you says goes into your mind the entire week.
4) When you can't remember the very silly things that you did. Which is a good thing, because I won't embarrass myself that way. (:

I thought today was going to be better than last saturday, in terms of being not as exhuasted. But no! The moment i told marlene that I felt better than last week, I felt the tiredness. And I was in so much pain later in the afternoon. I suspected it was the gastric flaring up again, so I forced myself to have some food at LOC. But it didn't make it better and I nearly died while walking through the underpass to novena mrt. I thought breathing would make the pain more bearable but everytime I breathe in, the pain just intensified. It was horrible and I nearly went home instead of going to grandma's house (which with hindsight, would probably be a much smarter choice). But I feel slightly better now. So all is fine! OH! but my parents sent me down to LOC, so that was nice. (:

Gah. I thought the whole issue was closed and never to be mentioned again. But i guess since it was left hanging, i shouldn't have assumed that was the end of it. Felt down and annoyed for a while. Then I was all calm and peaceful again. Afterall, I really don't care what they think. I know they are just trying to look out for me. But I feel that it's my decision and I like it there. (: I'll be fighting. My source of strength! (: EDIT: Just went to shower and think about things. I realise that it should not be my decision but what's planned for me. So I shall see how things go and accept it.