Is it human nature to assume? Do we, as humans, operate on the basis of assumptions?
A few incidents that occured throughout this week had me screaming "don't assume!" silently in my heart, which of course got me thinking if I was wrong in thinking that humans can truly be independent of assumptions.
Probably not, I finally concluded, for after much thinking, I realized many little actions in our daily life can be argued to be an assumption. After all, when the green man on the traffic light comes on and we cross the road, we do so only because we assume the vehicles will stop for us. When we approach pedestrian crossings and we cross them without much fear, we do so only because we assume the traffic will give way to us. But of course, we cannot say for sure that the vehicles WILL stop can we? How else do we explain accidents? Those poor victims who at that point assumed, have had their assumptions being proven wrong. How many times do people say "I thought it wouldn't..". Is that not assumptions being made?
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying ALL assumptions are bad. Of course it's silly and maybe even to the extent of ridiculous to argue that one must not assume in situations like these. Casual assumptions in everyday life are healthy. Without them, I imagine the world would be full of people who are suspicious of everything.
However, I still don't like it when people assume. The kind of assume I'm referring to is when people "assume" to suit their needs. They become so blind by their own wants, so desperate for what they want to be true that they "assume".
What has been going through my mind recently, in view of all the incidents where people have been making assumptions about me is:
- Stop assuming that I would say yes. Stop assuming that I will be there to pick things up. I don't normally say no, but I don't like it when people take it for granted that I would say yes. I feel that it robs me of my own right/freedom to say no. I'm not a *censored* doormat!
Especially if you're supposedly asking for a favor/help. Sometimes when people ask for help, they assume that the other party will say yes, without really giving an opportunity to say no. They do things like start thanking that person, make a public announcement that the person agreed or make it seem like a privilege for the person to say yes. All these make it extremely difficult for the person to say no and in my opinion, this is a very, very, very poor technique. A good negotiator/party ALWAYS allow the other party an opportunity to exit graciously. Sure, maybe you feel victorious that you managed to "persuade" that person to do something for you, but the truth is, you didn't. You merely assumed and forced the other party into it. How happy a deal is that?
Assuming is bad when one uses it to fulfil their needs and very bad if it strips someone of a choice that they would normally decide for themselves but now can't because someone "assumed" something.
And it has really annoyed me this week. Lots of assumptions about me has been made and I feel forced into many things to which I cannot possibly say no now, but rather has to do them grudgingly. And this is putting me off a lot of people/place.
I feel like a dormant volcano.
I'm in such a foul mood that I could not even concentrate on the text that I was trying to read.
On a brighter note, Dad and I had breakfast together this morning and Cassie and I finally had our sushi today!
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